Summer Rain

Hail beats my window-pane

Water pours from the sky

Spring storm, summer rain

Sunshine fills my tender vein

Surrounds me, leaves me dry

Hail beats my window-pane

Flowers fall from boughs slain

Weeping willows begin to cry

Spring storm, summer rain

Kisses caught in a deserted lane

Giving me faith if only I try

Hail beats my window-pane

Late spring temptress mirrors my pain

Keep that faith or break down and cry

Spring storm, summer rain

Forgetting is my aim

Forgiveness I'll never say

Hail beats my window-pane

Spring storm, summer rain

You have to learn in order to grow

You must reap what you sow

Things will never be the same

You have to learn in order to grow

Each day feels like a show

I keep remembering your name

You must reap what you sow

I love you as you'll never know

Yet he continues this game

You have to learn in order to grow

My ever remaining foe

Refusing to hang his head in shame

You must reap what you sow

Still, I've never felt this low

this cross, this lame

You have to learn in order to grow

It's all wreckage, our lives in tow

Things go on as much the same

You must reap what you sow

You have to learn in order to grow

my father

used to tell

this story

when he was

younger

he punched

my grandmother

and the judge

told him

his only crime

was using a closed

fist

so excuse me

if i'm angry

at the world

and excuse me

if i have all

this

pent up

aggression

and it might

be a weakness

to blame it

on the pretense

but

when it's all

you've ever known

and it's how

you learned

to grow

can you expect

me to be

anything but

angery

when this

world's never

been

my stage

and i'm so

pent up

with rage

and you make

the mistake

of making it

with me

can you blame

the consequence

on anyone

but yourself

when i put

you

on a shelf

and i put

me

in the front

of every-one

else

but you see

it's like this

it's dirty

and insane

and mundane

and it's nothin

that you've

ever

seen before

and yet

this refrain

rolls around

in your brain

it's exactly

the same

as it was yesterday

and repeat

and deny

you fall down

and you cry

that the world

can't see you

or all you hope to do

build em up

build em high

block out

the sun

refute the sky

circle round

for the day

you make the

same mistake

inevitability

you say

i have a lack of

patience

that i anger

quickly

that i falter easily

that i wear

my emotions

on my sleeve

that i alienate

those around me

and myself

willingly

that the perceived perception of my reality

isn't the reality your perception's perceiving

like it's a bad thing.

you say

i'm defensive and

stubborn and

pessimistic and

elitist and

awkward like

it's a bad thing

like you've never

been beaten

been broken

been cheated

been mistreated

been misheard

been misunderstood

been neglected

been dejected

like you've never

been real

been alive

been lying

on the floor

dying and

had not a single soul

shed a tear

like you expect me

to take your naysaying nonsense

with the proverbial grain of salt

take a spoonful of sugar

with your medicinal doctrine

of benevolence and apathy

youre preaching

but i'm sorry

i have a god

and he most certainly

is not

you

i won't

pray

at the shrine

of your corporate idols

and your

status quo

won't infiltrate the

fortress of my mind

instead of trying to

fix me

why don't you get to

know me

understand

that red hair might mean i'm fiesty

but this is not my natural hair color

and i might cross my arms

because it makes me feel safe

and held like i never was

and i might be defensive

because it's the only way to survive

when you're being thrown down a flight of stairs

and i might not have patience

because waiting around

will only get you killed

and i might be defiant

but have you ever looked around

at a crumbling world

and held the answer on the tip of your tongue

but you couldn't speak

because you have breasts

yeah

i didn't think so

judge not

lest ye

be judged

yet there you are

writing numbers down

on paper

that define my whole existance

as you know it

standardized testing

made for mice in a maze

applied to my very human form

and you don't seem

to look

at the girl

behind these glasses

and you don't

seem

to care

that i

i

i am not a number

Listening to slam

artists

for two hours

and...

I feel even less

Inspired

Than I did

Yesterday

or was it

the day before?

turning

stumbling

and I can't help

wondering why

I can't create

some emulator

to encompass my

shortcomings

and deliver them

to you

free form

and i can't help wondering

why

i can't

spill the words together

in the heather

landscape of my mind

and have you

snap

for me

for me

the girl that no one

notices

the girl that

no one

sees

the girl that's

writing

working

praying

remaining

barely a figment

of your half baked

imagination

when reminiscing

i though i had

so much

talent

so much

promise

and i held on to this notion

that I could be

bigger

better

than my surroundings

bigger

better

than myself

than those

around me

and i have this pent up aggression

this lack of

patience

and i type

fast and i talk

fast and i

anger quickly

and i won't wait

for you to

make up your mind

for you to

discard me

like you did

yesterday

or, was it

the day before?

The ones that scream the loudest

maybe...

they're trying to convince themselves.

and the repetition of I do in fact enjoy this

comes out

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

and the repetition of I own my own life comes out

Yes!

Right there!

and trying to blot out the reality around you

your eyes roll back and you just scream.

lost in the moment

you forget about your insecurities

your life is failing

falling apart

keep at it

keep going

no one will notice

they'd have to care

so you turn up

the volume

turn it up

tune him out

you're not hungry

sick

tired

just horny

that's it

right there

yeah yeah yeah

and everything becomes real

you solidify it in your mind

it becomes

the truth

you've faked it

so many times

you've even fooled yourself

Open your Eyes

Showed you the truth
but you just shut your eyes
I guess you'll never see
through his well made disguise

I've been the one by your side
through thick and through thin
yet you turned your back on me
and let the devil waltz in

So you deceived me
you left me here alone
with a broken promise, a broken heart
i must walk through this world on my own

will you ever see
the errors that you've made
will you ever know
the good that would follow if you'd stayed

Will i ever forgive you
leaving me shattered on the floor
will i ever forget
not a chance anymore

I'll never be there again
to hold your hand
to wipe the tears from your eyes
you've made your final stand

you turned from light to dark
you changed from all to nothing
you took my love, my good advice
and through it all away for nothing

as the days tick by, you'll find
a new world to fit into
false friends, false life
something to look forward to

there's no turning back
no unwriting wrongs
apologies can not fix
four months of scars and sobs

you ask me to believe
in this false idol you've found
ask me to join you
without a protesting sound

to put aside the fact
he is evil in and out
to join with you against the tide
to simply shut my mouth

I will keep on fighting
though I am fighting for you
I will keep on trying
praying God will see it through

but even if you change
and see the monster inside
I don't know if it fixes anything
you've wasted so much time

but fight is all i can do
seek to show truth and justice
for though you've turned your back on me
I simply can't return the favor