Listening to slam

artists

for two hours

and...

I feel even less

Inspired

Than I did

Yesterday

or was it

the day before?

turning

stumbling

and I can't help

wondering why

I can't create

some emulator

to encompass my

shortcomings

and deliver them

to you

free form

and i can't help wondering

why

i can't

spill the words together

in the heather

landscape of my mind

and have you

snap

for me

for me

the girl that no one

notices

the girl that

no one

sees

the girl that's

writing

working

praying

remaining

barely a figment

of your half baked

imagination

when reminiscing

i though i had

so much

talent

so much

promise

and i held on to this notion

that I could be

bigger

better

than my surroundings

bigger

better

than myself

than those

around me

and i have this pent up aggression

this lack of

patience

and i type

fast and i talk

fast and i

anger quickly

and i won't wait

for you to

make up your mind

for you to

discard me

like you did

yesterday

or, was it

the day before?

The ones that scream the loudest

maybe...

they're trying to convince themselves.

and the repetition of I do in fact enjoy this

comes out

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

and the repetition of I own my own life comes out

Yes!

Right there!

and trying to blot out the reality around you

your eyes roll back and you just scream.

lost in the moment

you forget about your insecurities

your life is failing

falling apart

keep at it

keep going

no one will notice

they'd have to care

so you turn up

the volume

turn it up

tune him out

you're not hungry

sick

tired

just horny

that's it

right there

yeah yeah yeah

and everything becomes real

you solidify it in your mind

it becomes

the truth

you've faked it

so many times

you've even fooled yourself

Open your Eyes

Showed you the truth
but you just shut your eyes
I guess you'll never see
through his well made disguise

I've been the one by your side
through thick and through thin
yet you turned your back on me
and let the devil waltz in

So you deceived me
you left me here alone
with a broken promise, a broken heart
i must walk through this world on my own

will you ever see
the errors that you've made
will you ever know
the good that would follow if you'd stayed

Will i ever forgive you
leaving me shattered on the floor
will i ever forget
not a chance anymore

I'll never be there again
to hold your hand
to wipe the tears from your eyes
you've made your final stand

you turned from light to dark
you changed from all to nothing
you took my love, my good advice
and through it all away for nothing

as the days tick by, you'll find
a new world to fit into
false friends, false life
something to look forward to

there's no turning back
no unwriting wrongs
apologies can not fix
four months of scars and sobs

you ask me to believe
in this false idol you've found
ask me to join you
without a protesting sound

to put aside the fact
he is evil in and out
to join with you against the tide
to simply shut my mouth

I will keep on fighting
though I am fighting for you
I will keep on trying
praying God will see it through

but even if you change
and see the monster inside
I don't know if it fixes anything
you've wasted so much time

but fight is all i can do
seek to show truth and justice
for though you've turned your back on me
I simply can't return the favor

Wedding Vows

Everything that makes me who I am
was yours before this moment
it shall be yours always

You are my soul mate
my best friend
my ally against the world
my moment outside of time.
you are my fondest memory
my fiercest desire
my strongest wish

It is because of you
I laugh
I smile
I dream

I will love you
respect you
and be honest with you
always

When life is easy
or when it is a struggle
when our love is simple
and when it is an effort
I will live with you
and laugh with you.

From this day forward,
you will never walk alone.

I will rejoice in your delights
and fight your battles by your side

I will support what you strive to accomplish
and encourage you intellectually, emotionally and spiritually
I will try to see the world as you see it
or at the very least, respect your unique perspective

I will be the shoulder on which you lean
the rock on which you rest
the joy of your heart

I will comfort your body with mine
mirror your soul with my own
and share with you all that I have and will have

I promise not only to give these things
but to receive them from you as well
to speak and to listen
to be both friend, and lover

You have my body
my mind
my heart
my soul

Everything that makes me who I am
was yours before this moment
it shall be yours always

I offer this ring to you
as a symbol
of my faith
my love
And of the vows I have just spoken

As this ring has no end
neither does my love for you.

Cyber Unreality

Screaming into the abyss
waiting
for someone
to judge me
Challenge me
acknowledge me
Maybe even
love me

No response
Echoes bounce back
returning my cries
cyclic and cold
Is there no one there
or just no one
that cares

Cyber self indulgence
Self medication
woven with coils
Tubes of failed inspiration
Failed social interactions

Avatars replace reality
Chat-rooms replace coffeehouses
Microblogs replace conversation
even heartfelt e-mails are
things of the past

Yet I scream out
crop my face to an icon's frame
chat away into the space
micro, mini, standard blog
to no one, and nothing

Fading into unreality

You and I

I ask you not for the heavens
nor for the moon or the stars.
I ask you not for the sun
nor the sea
nor any earthly creations.
I ask not for your life
nor your body
nor your will.
I ask only for you heart.
Once I have your heart
it is only natural
that your soul and mind will follow.
In these matters I may be flawed.
Perhaps your mind
will be mine
and soul and heart will follow.
When I have all three
we'll call it love
of the truest form
and parade for all to see.
I don't mind
but I wish sometimes
it were only you and I.

You've given me your mind
a section split with billions;
you've given me your heart
the portion yet unused.
You've given me your soul
the parts I'm worthy to see.

I wish sometimes
it were only you and I.

Written words fall to sand

Miscommunication will be our downfall.
Weeping bitterly into the night.
Written words fall to sand.

I wish you would try to read my mind
The you would see with hindsight
Miscommunication will be our downfall

Our hearts still beat, hands intertwined
So why do I feel such fright
as written words fall to sand

Silly items mean nothing until they are defined
And even so need to put to light
Miscommunication will be our downfall

Please try to know I'm one of your kind
Slipping away into the night
Written words fall to sand

I want you more than absence of mind
More than anything in sight
Miscommunication will be our downfall
Written words fall to sand